So what if I'm old, I have a kid who can drive!

I felt the earth move today. My oldest son, Zach got his driver's license. I am giddy with the knowledge that my days of being a chauffeur are gone! I have to confess it was a controversial move on my part taking him down to the MVD (not the DMV -- because that would be too conformist and Arizona does NOT conform!) My husband felt that Zach wasn't ready to be driving on his own. He's convinced that without him sitting in that passenger seat watching Zach like a hawk, it's only a matter of time before some traffic calamity becomes a part of our lives. Well of course it is. That is the nature of having a teen driver -- or maybe it just was in my house growing up.

I remember that it was only a few months into my sister Becky's career as a licensed driver that she managed to drive up the side of an embankment. She only stopped the car from rolling down by quickly opening up her door, wedging it into the bark covered landscaping. I don't even think my parents were home to rescue her, it was the husband of a good friend that got her out of that one. Heaven knows how. 

I got my first ticket the first week of being an official driver and I didn't even know it at first. I was cruising along at night, going 45 on a street ridiculously marked 25 when I saw lights in my rearview mirror. I dutifully pulled over to the side of the road to let that ambulance by when it pulled up behind me. I was illuminated by a floodlight that blinded my shocked, innocent eyes. I could not have been more surprised or freaked

My younger sister Sherrie wins the prize for best traffic faux pas -- I seem to remember some sort of collision with a policeman. Sherrie clarified that the street had some obstructing trees and that she didn't even get a ticket, but my parents did apparently have to pay for the damage to the police cruiser. Not only that, but the Ford Fiesta we both drove through high school died a spectacular death at her hands, spewing black smoke through the vents and enveloping her in a black cloud of toxic fumes while she drove home on the freeway. 

Sherrie also said that our little brother Ben sideswiped several cars while in his infant stage as a driver, though Ben was unavailable to verify this claim. All I can say is we have a family tradition of gathering colorful experiences around driving that make for great stories 20 years later. I'm proud to be part of that tradition, but do I want it carried on?

In all honesty, I hope Zach is spared the foibles of my youth. I hate to think of him dealing with tickets, fender benders or some unknown new adventure; but, if it happens, it won't be a surprise. So since he'll be 17 in a month, I thought it was time to see if he could pass the test. I figured we'd let the AZ MVD decide if he was ready to drive and if he passed, we'd surprise his Dad with the great news! As we were driving there, I almost sent a message to my Facebook stating my status of taking my baby to get his license. I knew that my hubby would read it though and I didn't want to ruin the surprise.  Well, as soon as we got there, Zach posted his status to Facebook and we got a message from Ren saying, "You're doing What?!!" So much for the surprise.

Well, he passed the test -- and driving the Ford Excursion no less. He had to execute a three point reverse turn without hitting any cones, then drive around the block and back to the office. That's it. I am now terrified to be on the road in Arizona knowing who's out there driving. My four year-old could have passed that test with his two year-old brother pushing the pedals. 

Then there's this: I realized as soon as we got the license that I will have to put him on my insurance. Holy Cow! What's that going to cost us? I guess on the plus side knowing what we're paying will give me some leverage. I told him that he would earn his privilege of driving by being at my beck and call for any errand I need run. I can't wait to send him to the store for milk or to take his brothers to scouts or better yet, to fetch me doughnuts. Woo hoo! I'm free. Free at last.