Leftover Funnies from 2007

I always like to include funny stuff the kids say in my Christmas card, but sometimes I don't have room for the ones that require a long explanation. I thought maybe this might be a good place to include the longer funnies that happened last year and perhaps a few from the archives, just for fun!

** Curtis gets so tickled with himself when he has a funny idea -- his big dimples flash and he'll run and tell me something like, "Mom! If the dishwasher was for trash it would be a 'trashwasher'! And if the garbage can was for silverware it would be a 'dishcan'!

** I heard the quintessential grade school boy, tattling anecdote from Curty the other day. He told me, "Mom, I made Cody pinky-promise not to change Jonah's name on his deluxe ATM machine to Poo Poo Jonah, but then he did it anyway and said he was crossing his teeth!"

** We were at a restaurant with Eli, sitting in a booth, and he was getting very restless, but we were too tired to do much about it so he was climbing all around the booth. As I was doing my best to eat, my subconscious picked this up in the background: "Poke, poke" "Poke, poke" Then I heard the guy in the next booth say, "I'm getting poked." I turned around and saw Eli accosting him from our side. How embarrassing!

** Eli was having one of those irrational, two year-old fits one evening and I tried to get him to calm down by laying out a super-soft blankie, hoping to entice him to lay on it (because he always loves to when I lay it out for the baby). Well, he got mad and yelled, "No blankie!" Then he picked it up, ran to the kitchen garbage, opened the lid and stuffed it in!

** I've been trying to teach Eli to draw on paper when he finds a marker or pencil lying around (which was a CAPITAL offense when we were trying to sell our Murrieta house and I had just painted all the walls and kept finding marks on them!) Well, one day I found him standing on Ren's office desk with a sharpie marker in hand, happily coloring in one of Ren's professional journals while saying, "Draw on paper, Mommy!" I had to praise him, right?

** Trying to give directions to a two year-old can be dicey. Last spring Eli learned to put a diaper in the garbage can, then he'd come running back for a high five! But one day I asked him to give something to Ren in the kitchen and he ran in, threw it in the garbage and came running back for a high five and a "Good Job, Eli!" Another day, Eli found a baby bottle on the floor so I said, "Go put it in the sink, Eli." He ran into the kitchen, then slowed and asked, "Garbage?" I said, "No, sink." "Sink?" He asked. So I said, "You know, where the wa-wa is." So he went to our bottled water dispenser and tried to put water in the bottle. I tried to make it more clear. "The sink, where you make bubbles in the wa-wa." "BUBBLES!" he yelled and ran to the back door. Seeing I wasn't going to talk my way through this, I walked over and said, "Let me show you." I put the bottle in the sink and said, "Sink." Eli looked up with his darling, dimply grin and said, "Good job, Mama!"

** Cody is ALWAYS worried about food going bad or eating something that will make him sick. One time he even asked me if a toothbrush he found, which was still in its package, had gone bad! One morning he found a piece of cooked bacon in the fridge and asked me if it was okay to eat it cold. I'm getting a little exasperated at answering silly questions like that...so, when 5 minutes later he asked me "Mom, will anything happen to me if I have yogurt after eating bacon?" I said, "YES! You'll turn into a girl! Or grow an extra head!"

** Gid babbled "Nana dada babab" So I jokingly asked Curtis, "Curty, do you know what nanadadababab means?" He replied in a kind of disgusted voice, "Mo-om, I USED to know baby talk."

** One day I told Eli it was time to go get Zach. He said, "A snack?" I said, "No, let's get Zach." He replied, "I no wanna snack." Getting frustrated I said, "No! Zach, your brother." "My brudder?" He thinks for a minute..."Pooh Bear?" HUH? "Pooh bear?" I ask. "Yeah! My brudder, Pooh Bear!" Um, okay...whatever.

** Hannah was babysitting Eli and he wouldn't eat his dinner, he only wanted milk. So, Hannah, trying to get him to eat SOMETHING said, "How about a cheesestick?" He thoughtfully replied, "Um...how about milk?" So she offered, "How about an apple?" He says, "How 'bout milk?" So she replies, "How 'bout NO." And he answers happily, "How about YES!"

This post got long, so I'll save the archives for another time!