The Invisible Woman

This is an amazing video for all the mothers out there who occasionally wonder, "Now why am I doing this again?"

If you live in Gilbert, don't miss out!

I just wanted to pass along news of a wonderful opportunity. Heather Madder is a friend from church who is an inspiring speaker, author and teacher. She is holding an event soon that sounds like an amazing opportunity for those of us who are striving to make our families better. Every time I hear Heather speak, I come away from the experience thoughtful and motivated to make changes for the better in my life. I'm sure this event will be no different. Here is the info as she sent it to me:

Dear Friends,

For quite some time, I have been deeply interested in working to assist families in being secure, positive, peaceful, and healthy. This is why I am so excited about presenting "Families in Motion" with Dr. Neil Weiner, whose work has been transforming parents and children for over 30 years. Well-known in his field, he has a flourishing practice, has co-authored an industry standard book (as well four others), and is regularly invited to present at conferences, hospitals, and on television.

Together, we'll be sharing information that will assist your family to thrive and parents are invited to bring situation-specific questions to gain expert support and advice. Pleae join me on September 24th as we launch this three-part educational series designed to uplift and empower you and your children!
"Families in Motion"
Fall Series with Dr. Neil Weiner
Sept 24; October 22; Nov. 12th

September 24th:
Powerful Parenting through Authentic Leadership

*Learn how to to genuinely lead instead of control.
*Motivate your kids to be an active contributor at home.
*Learn how to really communicate with each child.
*Gain creative, problem solving solutions for all ages.
*Create a home of wholeness, unity, & cooperation.

Advance Price $15.00 per evening / $40.00 series
(at the Door Price $20 per evening)

For location, times, & details on full series visit
www.HeatherMadder.com!

Six Unremarkable Things

I was tagged by Janeannchovey to list six unremarkable things about me. Why does that seem hard to me? Well, here's what I came up with.

1. I adore anything (pretty much) with peanut butter as a main ingredient.
2. I love cute pajamas (and getting new ones).
3. I wish I could REALLY sing (like solo-worthy, not just church choir.)
4. I play the piano. (There, that one is extremely unremarkable.)
5. I wear size 7 1/2 shoes.
6. I have freckles on my...arms!

Terms & conditions:

Link the person who tagged you.
Mention the rules on your blog.
List 6 unspectacular things about you.
Tag 6 other bloggers by linking them.

So now I tag Hannah, Cathy, Jenny J., Deborah, Heather W., and Erin B.

Mom, was that you?

We had a little excitement last night. I was out at a book club (of sorts) and then I went to pick up Zach at band practice. We stopped by the store on the way home for a few necessaries and Hannah called me, a little freaked out, and wanted to know if I'd tried to come in the barred door about 10 minutes ago. Surprised, I said, "No, I'm just finishing up at the store." I quizzed her to make sure she wasn't exaggerating or something and she assured me she heard the door push open against the bar and the security system beeped to indicate an opening door. Well, I got a little freaked out and rushed home, on the way calling my closest neighbor (who's number I remember) and asking her to check on Hannah. Her husband was on his way home from work, so she got a little freaked out, locked her door and told me I should call the police to come and check it out. I felt a little silly doing that, so I asked her if she would! She did and a few minutes after I got home, we had a very nice police woman and man tripping over toys and discarded toddler clothing as they checked out the back yard. They found nothing, luckily. Hannah told me that while she was waiting for me to come home, she had grabbed a knife and walked through the house to make sure no one was there. I was pretty impressed with that brave move, as this is my daughter who historically has been VERY fearful about being home alone. Good for her. I did explain to her that holding a knife you don't really know how to use (unless she was going to finely dice carrots for the intruder -- in which case it would do nicely) could turn into a weapon he would use against her. We decided that the best course of action is to flip out like a woman with SEVERE pms, that scares most of the men I know.

Freeze Out!

Zach and I played "Freeze Out!" in the car on the way to marching band this morning at 6:15 a.m. For those of you who may not know the rules of this classic adolescent game, you roll all the windows down while driving and see how long it takes for you to freeze. Usually you do it the winter, but our freakishly low temperature this morning inspired Zach to want to play it during our morning drive to school -- it was 74 degrees! Woo Hoo! Summer is almost over here in Arizona, I can feel it! We've had night time lows in the 80's all summer, so to go outside and feel a cool breeze whipping the tumbleweeds across the street made me positively optimistic that cooler weather is coming! Yay!

The Naked Truth

Here is my latest, probably controversial, humor column for Knack Magazine. I went through some angst to get this one done. I actually wrote a completely different article, submitted it and got the feedback that it wasn't funny. Oops. That hurts. Well, the events described in this column happened the very day that I got the message that I'd have to rewrite or redo my article. All I can say is that God answers our prayers in extremely unexpected ways sometimes, including inspiring wacky events so I have something funny to write about. At least I know He cares about even my mundane worries. The magazine is coming out this week, so here's my sneek peak! (There are NO pictures associated with this column, read on to see why!) =)

**************************************************************

I often find myself in situations that I think are hilarious. (Okay, I usually put myself in them before I have a chance to think things through.) But I’m always surprised to hear that others just find them outrageous! For example, I had a surreal wacky experience the other day and when I called my sister to tell her about it, after laughing hysterically she said, “You can’t write about that for your magazine!” Now I’m thinking, “Why can’t I? It happened to me. It made me laugh!” Then I talked to my mom and her hesitation, in the place of her usual motherly support, told me that she was on my sister’s side of the argument. So, because I’m me, I’m going to write about it. (I just won’t say neener, neener, neener – that would be immature.)

I’d been swimming out back with my two youngest children, the “Littles”. It was close to lunchtime, but I was trying to quickly get a shower in so I could face the rest of the day with makeup and a hairdo. (I know, my expectations were already way too high!) Well, I had successfully showered at supersonic speed and was working on the “after shower routine” (rubbing in hair gel like a mad woman) when Gideon, my one-and-a-half year-old came into the bathroom carrying a bag of eight large hamburger buns and crying hysterically because he couldn’t open them up. He had hit critical hunger mass while I was in the shower and he needed food IMMEDIATELY. I think we all know that a one year-old with low blood sugar is a creature not to be ignored. I reached for my robe, but I couldn’t find it. He was screaming and I was flustered so I figured I’d just quickly run out to the kitchen, make him a PB&J, and then pop back into my bathroom to finish what I was doing. Sure I’d be naked, but all I could think was, “Must make food. Must stop screaming.” That’s what a hysterical child does to your brain; it pretty much ends up functioning on a primitive level. That’s why the thought didn’t occur to me to throw a towel around myself. Praying that no one came to the door (or peeked in my windows) I was breaking the world sandwich making record when I heard Eli, my three year-old saying, “Mom! I wanna take your picher. Say Cheese!” I turned around to see him with his sister’s camera in hand. Yikes! “No, no, NO Eli!” I yelled, panic-stricken, as I rushed around to get the camera; but then Gideon started freaking because the sandwich making had stopped. Chaos ensued. I somehow managed to distract the pint-sized photographer and get food into Gid without becoming the subject of secret nude photos. Then I sprinted back to my bathroom thinking, “My life is NOT normal!”

I’m still laughing about it as I write, thinking, “How does a nice girl like me find herself in a mess like that? And why would my family be so stressed about me sharing the experience?” A short time later, I get a call from someone with a New Jersey cell phone number. A man with a deep voice, claiming to be from Child Protective Services tells me that he has found a picture of me on an internet site! “What?” I think. “Did someone take a picture off my blog? Were my friends right when they warned me to make my blog private?” “Ma’am,” he continues, “It shows you naked in your kitchen.” Huh?!! “Wait a minute,” I puzzle, “something’s wrong here.” It takes me a second to realize that THERE WERE NO NUDE PHOTOS TAKEN! “No you didn’t!” I fire back, and my dear brother-in-law starts laughing uproariously into the phone, thinking he is SO hilarious! And who told him, anyway?! Then he says, “Jen, you can tell your story, just say that you threw on a towel before you went in the kitchen.” Well, that was the nail in the coffin! The “naked chef” story just isn’t funny unless I’m …well…naked! (Plus, it’s how it really happened.) So, I’m thinking, “Would Erma Bombeck sugarcoat the naked truth of the story?” (Pun intended) Of course she wouldn’t! She’s the woman who wrote about losing her mastectomy prosthesis while running through an airport, only to find it moonlighting as a shoulder pad! I’m no Erma Bombeck, but she is my idol. Her ability to laugh at herself has shaped who I am and how I deal with the craziness of my life. So I embrace my brainless nudity. I share my stupidity with the world so you can all laugh with me! Then I’ll make sure to keep my bathrobe out of the laundry black hole to avoid any more naked culinary catastrophes! I don’t want my children to have to pay for more therapy than is absolutely necessary.

Monsoon!

We have been hit by a few GIANT monsoons the last week or so. One afternoon it hit just before the boys got home from school. Hannah and her friend Michelle were already home and they made a rain suit for Eli out of a garbage bag and a big bowl. He looked so funny. After Eli played in the downpour, we took the Littles over to see the park, which had flooded and they just had to go play in the water. The bus drops the boys off there, so when Cody, Jonah and Curty saw the Littles playing, they ran home, put on swim suits and headed back over to the park. I sacrificed much by braving the murky water and many, MANY bugs to wade across the playground and get the best angles for pictures. I even found a cockroach crawling up my leg! Eww! We all came home soaking wet and scratching many bug bites, but it was memorable, especially in the endless heat of the summer. Here's some pics...

Here's Eli in his designer rain suit.




Cody found a black, velvety butterfly and rescued it from the water. It was beautiful.


Gideon made friends with a neighborhood dog.


The boys decided that a "water" park was much more fun than the regular park.






Growing up in Oregon I learned that rain meant cold, miserable, depressing days where you couldn't go outside. Now I chuckle to find that rain means something completely different in Arizona. It is a precious relief from the heat and allows us to escape from the confines of the house to enjoy our beautiful neighborhood; at least until the sun comes out again and the steam starts to rise.